After all we've been through, I still love you
by mrs.reichenbatch
Summary: Sherlock and John go skiing with their school, but will their relationship survive the challenges the mountain will present? Read to find out! Johnlock the whole way through though I've tried not to make it too fluffy.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

(JOHN'S POV)

The teacher handed out the letters for skiing, i took one. My eyes darted across the page until i read what i needed to tell me whether i was going or not. The trip was too expensive so I wouldn't be going. 'What a shame' i thought to myself, if i could go i would be spending ten days in a room with Sherlock, I his only friend and he mine.

"My dearest John, do not pout for you shall go to the ball" Sherlock said as he waltzed over to me.

"Sherlock, you know for a fact my parents...can't afford this" I said under my breath.

"And dear Cinderella, you know my parents can" he leaned towards me brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"But Sherlock..." I started but he cut me off.

"And they'll buy you all the equipment, I insist, anything for my John" he said taking the seat next to mine.

"Sherlock, are you sure, because it's only two weeks, I'll see you the day you get back." I felt guilty and a little embarrassed.

He shot up, looking down on me he said "I am not going to spend two weeks in Russia on my own" I tried to interrupt but he seemed quite determined to make his point "John Hamish Watson, I love _you_ and I want to do this for _you."_

'God, I love you too Sherlock' I thought but I couldn't say that, I knew he wouldn't break my heart, but I couldn't take the risk. "Well, if you insist" I smiled at him, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how deeply I cared, but my heart had been broken so many times and I was still a little broken.

"It's settled then, call you mother to tell her the good news, and I'll call mine to book the tailor, how's this afternoon for you?" he asked, sounding very excited.

"This afternoon is good, this afternoon works for me I'll call her now" I replied pulling my phone out of my pocket. Harry had given it to me, it was a lovely phone I don't deny that, but it's a pity it came into my possession because of Harry and Clara's separation. I always admired them as a couple, they were so in love but nothing ever lasts in life.

"Voicemail" I sighed deciding to text her instead.

**You aren't picking up Mum, I need to tell you something important - JW**

**I'm all ears darling - Mum**

**You text but don't pick up the phone, I'll never understand that. Sherlock and you are so alike, speaking of Sherlock, he's offered to take me skiing and I said yes, I have to got to his today, he's booking the tailor now - JW**

**I know, his mother called me, that's why I didn't pick up, although you do have a point. NOW BEHAVE WHILE YOUR AWAY - Mum**

**Love you xx - JW**

**Love you more xx - Mum**

"She said yes Sherlock" I said putting my phone away.

Turning and sliding his phone into his jacket pocket he said "I know my mother called her this morning"

A little shocked I said "then why on earth did you get me to call her, what if I had said no"

"You wouldn't have, besides she wanted to hear your side of it, she doesn't trust me, she will though." He began to ramble about how he would win my mother's trust so I tuned out of the conversation.

Later on, when I was at Sherlock's we were having a conversation about what we would do, but I wasn't paying too much attention after all I did have an old man in a suit wrapping a measuring tape around me.

"John? John? Are you even listening to me?" Sherlock asked looking up at me.

"Sorry no, I was...a little side tracked that's all" I smiled down at him, I didn't get to do that often he was so much taller than me so I made the most of it.

"Well I was just saying that if you want, I can teach you to ski, I'm rather good so don't worry about the quality of you lessons. We could tell the teachers who are coming that your a good skier so they let you go off on you own, or rather you could go off with me. How does that sound?" His hands were placed under his chin as though he were playing, but obviously he wasn't.

"Sherlock, it sounds absolutely wonderful" it really did though the tone in my voice didn't reflect how happy I was. It was so generous of Sherlock to pay for the whole thing, he always did things for me, pity I couldn't pay him back. Well only in sexual favours.

"All done sir", the old man said putting away his measuring tape. "Mr Holmes I'll give you the bill when you pick everything up." He said winking at Sherlock who smiled back at him.

"Thankyou Mr. O'Brien, that will be all." Sherlock said still smiling, it was so false, but then again he never smiled his real smile except when we were alone. The old man left and I put my Scarf on "Are you leaving already John? I'll tell Mycroft to bring the car around" he said beginning to exit the room to call Mycroft before I stopped him.

"No Sherlock, I'd rather walk, I have some things to think about" I pulled his sleeve so that he would turn to face me.

"very well, would you mind if I walked with you?" He seemed rather eager to join me so I agreed.

"Come on, go get your scarf and coat." He ran off to get his long coat and navy scarf, I followed slowly behind him, admiring Holmes Manor for the hundredth time.

I heard him open the door then call "come on slow coach!" I quickened my pace to a slow jog and came round the corner to see mt Sherlock, his curly hair blowing slightly in the breeze coming through the open door, his cheeks were hollow, more so than before, I had to make him eat but he was so stubborn. His hand was extended out towards me, I took it and we walked into the night, locking the door behind us.

He wrapped his long arm around my shoulders and put his other hand in his pocket. I put my arm around his waist. It was so small I had to search for it under his many layers of clothing. As we walked out the gates, he came away from me to shut them, I offered to help but he didn't let me.

"Sherlock, did you want to talk about something?" I was growing more and more worried by his silence.

Returning to me he said "Err... yes John I did want to talk to you." He put his arm around my shoulders and we began to walk the walk that would continue to be the longest in my life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**(Sherlock's POV)**

I returned to John's side, he welcomed me back. Looking into his big hazel eyes he asked me if I needed to talk to him I said I did, 'he always could read mt like a book' I thought to myself.

"John?" I changed my tone, I didn't want any emotion to be detected as I said this, so I became as detached as I was when I first met John. "You know my parents approve of you, they know about our relationship and think it's...good"

He looked up at me a little confused "Yeah?"

"Well..." I was speechless, I couldn't not show emotion when he was giving me the face; he looked like a little lost puppy. "John, your parents don't approve of me, and I assume they don't know about our...relationship?"

He turned his head away "Sherlock I'm sorry"

Realizing how stupid I had been I quickly spun him round to face me, putting my hands on his broad shoulders I said "John Watson, don't you ever feel like you have to apologise to me, I shouldn't have been so stupid, I forgot about how your parents reacted to Harry. Please forgive me" It was hypocritical of me to apologise but I genuinely needed to I had made John, my John feel uncomfortable.

"Oh Sherlock" He sighed wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my scarf, I felt him silently sobbing,and squeezed him tightly until he stopped.

We carried on walking for a few minutes then he stopped. "Sherlock?" he called put to me as I carried on walking because I hadn't noticed that he had stopped, I was really off my game that night.

"Yes John" I started towards him but he stopped me.

"I'm going to tell them tonight" I interrupted.

"John, I'm so very sorry, please don't feel obligated to tell your parents because an arrogant sod like me had put the idea into you head." I felt so guilty.

"No, I want to, I only brought it up because, this is embarrassing, I was wondering if you could help me tell them.

I could feel tears pricking my eyes but I held the back to say "If it's what you want and need then it is my duty." He smiled and this and we carried on walking. It took half an hour to get to John's house, when we got to the door he stiffened so I reached up to ring the bell.

His mother came to the door "Ah John" then she looked over to me and her posture stiffened "Sherlock" she flashed her teeth at me in the most false smile I had ever seen. I knew she didn't approve but this was quite a surprise.

She showed us in and we sat on the couch reluctantly. Mr Watson walked in and took the seat opposite mine and from the moment he sat down to the moment I left his eyes never left mine.

Mrs Watson walked in after him with a cup of tea in her hand.

"Hello, how are you all?" I said in a fail attempt to break the ice.

Mr Watson jumped at the question before answering, "I'm Fine, we're all fine."

"Mum, Dad, I have something to tell you" John said gripping my hand under the coffee table so that no one could see. I squeezed it back reassuringly. "Me and Sherlock are together, I just thought you should know" he blurted out before lowering his head in shame.

"Well dear, we knew the day would come" His mother said smiling a little this time it seemed more genuine.

Then his father did something I never thought he would, he extended his hand out to me. I took it and we shook hands for a second before he said, "well I'm glad it's you rather than one of those idiots that go to you school.

I smiled nervously before saying "thankyou sir."

We hung around awkwardly before I announced that I had to leave because I would probably be missed at home. John showed me to the door.

"Wow" he sighed, flinging his arms around me.

"I know, I thought you said they reacted badly towards Harry when she came out?"

"They did" he chuckled.

We stood around for a moment before I said "Well I'd best be off, see you tomorrow" I walked back home down the long lonely roads that led to my house.

It was a good job they were long roads, I would need a long time to ponder over the nights events. My long legs took me home quicker than I had hoped but most of the things I needed to think about had been thought about so all was well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**(John's POV)**

After Sherlock left my parents acted the same as when he was there, being gentle and kind towards me, somehow Sherlock had changed these creatures of habit and I would be forever grateful, if they stayed that way till the end of their days.

They were kind and caring for exactly three weeks until the day we left, Sherlock was in the car waiting for me and his driver had come to the door to help me with my things. Unlike the past three weeks, my parents had been shouting all morning, mainly at each other, but some of the abuse was directed at me.

"You ungrateful son of a bitch" my dad yelled at me. I knew having money troubles was stressful for him, but why was he taking it out on me?

I ran upstairs to get my coat, my bags had already been loaded into the car and Sherlock had all of my equipment ordered straight to him so that I wouldn't see it until we were in Russia. I threw on my coat and ran outside fighting back tears, my dad called after me but I didn't hear.

I got into the back of the car with Sherlock who turned to me saying "Are they fighting again?" I nodded in reply and he put my head in his lap and ran his fingers through my short, blonde hair.

We drove straight to the airport, and from there we boarded the Holmes family was huge and we were the only people on it so it was incredibly comfortable. We took our seats and fastened the belts. The pilot announced that we would be taking of in a few minutes, I stiffened and tightened my grip around the arm of the seat.

Sherlock saw my hand and placed his large pale one over it, I instantly relaxed and turned my hand over to hold his.

"Nervous flyer?" he asked chuckling to himself.

"Never, actually been on a plane" I said turning to face the window.

When the engine started my hand wrapped so tightly around Sherlock's I thought I had broken and when I looked up at him face I could see he thought so too. I tried to loosed my grip but I couldn't as I felt the plane begin to move I leant back and closed my eyes.

Somehow Sherlock managed to stroke my hand with his thumb through my ever tightening grip.

Once we were in the air and it all seemed safe and steady I let go of Sherlock's hand. He massaged it with his other hand and smiled at me.

"I'm really sorry about your hand Sherlock" I said rather worried as I looked at his hand which was now turning a bit purple.

"It's fine John" he assured me putting his hand to the other side of him so that I couldn't see it.

The rest of the ride was silent, until we started to land, I was panicking so much and nearly started screaming.

When we landed I sat there for a moment debating whether I would kiss the ground or not. I decided not to when I saw Mycroft walk off the plane from the back "I trust all is well now Mr Watson" he laughed a little then got off.

We had more time to settle into our rooms because no one from our school was going to arrive until tomorrow. Sherlock's mother had called in advance so that there wouldn't be any issues when we arrived.

We had a room on the top floor, It had a lovely view but it meant we had to take the bags us seven flights of stairs. Surprisingly I didn't struggle too much, but Sherlock did, I offered to help but he wouldn't take it, he said it would make him seem less of a man.

When we finally made it to the top I ran to the window then spun around to look at a worn out Sherlock.

"Beautiful isn't it" he said smiling as he looked out the window.

"I thought you didn't care about that kind of thing?" I said.

"Doesn't mean I can't appreciate it" he said turning his head a little.

"Well we'd best get unpacked" I walked over the bags, I was desperate to find out the contents of the mystery bag Sherlock had. He glided across the room so that he stood in between the bag and I.

"It's a surprise John, don't ruin it." I walked back to the window while he put the bag on a high shelf so that I wouldn't be able to reach it.

I jumped onto the king size bed in the centre of the room and Sherlock joined me. We lay there for what seemed like forever until he got up and said well John, what do you think.

"Of what?" I said trying not to be rude.

"Everything" he sighed "the room, the scenery everything.

"Oh, yeah it's absolutely amazing" it really was. He smiled at my response.

We spent the entire first day unpacking and looking around the building we were going to live in for the next two weeks.

I took a nap in the afternoon and Sherlock went out, he came back with a bandage round his hand, it was the first thing I noticed when he strolled it, "Oh Sherlock, I'm so sorry about your hand."

"It's nothing, don't worry, all that matters is I can ski so we can spend loads of time together.

No one arrived until that night, they had all arrived as a school, and we decided to join them in the dining hall.

We were greeted by horrid remarks about why we had come so early, most of them to so with us spending the day in bed to have sex, which we did not.

The teachers told us what groups we would be in and who out instructors would be, out names weren't on the list but we knew prior to the trip what the arrangements were for us.

After dinner, everyone went to bed.

We changed into our pyjamas, I was dressed in a grey top and some blue stripped pyjama bottoms, Sherlock wore something similar, but there was one difference, mine fitted perfectly and his was too big for him, it had been the right size when he had first bought it. He had lost so much weight in such a small amount of time.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

(John's POV)

Seeing as Sherlock's waist was shrinking by the second I decided to make him breakfast, luckily for me I woke up before him, giving me time to cook him a full English.

We wouldn't be going to the slopes till later that day so he had enough time to finish the entire meal.

"I can smell food" Sherlock came into the kitchen of our room smiling, but his face fell when he saw how much there was and how big the plates were.

"I made you breakfast, you haven't been eating have you?" I asked him pulling out a chair for him.

"Well I've been eating just not as much as this." He looked up at me, his eyebrows raised.

I gave him a stern look and said "you are going to eat every last crumb."

He turned towards the plate, picked up his knife and fork and dug in. I was surprised to see how fast he was getting it down him, but he was probably trying to get it over and done with as quickly as he could. Oh well, at least he was eating.

I sat down and started to eat, I had only finished a piece of toast before his plate was empty, he excused himself and went to the bathroom.

He locked the door and seconds later I knew why he had eaten so quick, he wanted to throw it back up again. I heard him heaving and coughing, I ran to the door and tried to get in.

I waited by the door for ten minutes before he came back out. I got up off of the floor and looked at him angrily. "Sherlock, I'm really pissed off at you." I put my hand on his shoulder but he shrugged me off insisting we had to get dressed.

I decided I wasn't going to get through to him any time soon and went to get dressed.

He handed me the big black bag he had been guarding, I had forgotten about it.

I unzipped it and inside was all my skiing equipment, I pulled out a black ski jacked it was so warm even to touch.

I put everything on, hat goggles and all.

Everyone met together in the dining room, all holding their skis and poles, the teachers took us to the coach that would take us to the slopes.

When we arrived, the more experienced skiers and I all went to the lifts that took us to the top of the mountain, I was to say the least terrified, and Sherlock made jokes about how likely it is for a person to fall off a ski lift every time it stopped.

Before we went down the mountain, Sherlock taught me the basics; how to stop, how to parallel ski etc.

After an hour of practice, we went down. It was beautiful, the wind blowing over my skin, the scenery flashing past, and how happy Sherlock looked. I fell over once, but Sherlock picked me up, as soon as we were down we were back up again on the ski lift. We went up and down several times before we were called back.

* * *

**Sorry this is so short, I hope you enjoyed it, I'll update as soon as I can, and I'll make the next one longer :)**


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